It's the first year I'd saved to take my nephew and nieces shopping for the family. They had so much fun. After ward, I was driving home and had a visual seizure. I slowed way down, trying to keep my wits about me. By the time I got home, I was physically exhausted and in tears.
I called my friend and she let me spend the night. I stayed up all night again, writing and watching movies. I did not feel normal at all.
I saw Carol today, my loving therapist. I was crying so much. I asked her to hold me and she said yes. She held me close and tight. It was a long time with lots of tears flowing, lots of sounds and her rubbing my back as she spoke. She said she admired me for going through this because it's so tough.
I kept crying. I have a feeling there's a battle inside. Do I risk going deeper where the really painful tears reside or do I let what's already been released be enough? What would you do?
