A dream...
I'm living in our old house, sitting on my bed. The lights are out except for the hallway light. I'm looking at my notebook when all of a sudden a shadow appears. "Tina?", I ask. No response. My adrenalin starts to kick into gear. I move my notebook and he's standing there looking down at me. Then he's gone.
Part 2. I'm telling Tina about this dream I had where I was flying in a forward loop taring paper as I flew. All of a sudden the power went out. I told her to stay there. I got up out of bed with my fists up ready to defend us. I was thirteen years old. I checked Tracy's room. She was in there. I moved quietly ready to swing my fists when I called out my mom's name. She answered and said she'd forgotten to pay the electric bill. My heart was pumping wildly. I was ready to attack any threat to my family. When I heard her voice, I woke up. I was sweating, my heart pounding and I can't fall back to sleep.
All I wonder is: Where was he in the darkness this time? Did he see me coming? Did my defense stop another sexual abuse occurrence from happening? My fists were tight and I woke up ready to fight. Did this ever really happen or is God helping me process more feelings since this is the 2nd year of his death?
In any case, I'm amazed I survived.
