Another day older and deeper in debt.
I don't know why that song popped in my head but it did. Since the appendectomy all I've been doing for 12 days is sleeping, resting, taking pain pills, resting and sleeping some more then going out some then coming back home to recover from the outside adventure by sleeping long hours. Not much to talk about the holes are healing. The steri strips came off today by way of Tracy's fingers. I still loose my breath at times (Cats! Anybody seen my airway?) Then my legs get all wiggly like their on a jelly cruise ship. Tracy: What was that? Me: What? Her: The leg thing? Oh, that's my funky chicken dance. She looks at me like we need to do something about it. I look back at her as if to say, "How many neurologists does it take to diagnose epilepsy?" To which her facial expression says, "How many?" "I don't know. I'll let you know when I know." Then we continue shopping and I continue dancing.
I know I'm making light of it. My doctor signed a form for a temporary handicap placard - 6 months. I keep saying something is wrong here with my brain and with my body but the response is always "Nothing showed up on the scan or MRI." My Christian response overrides my fleshly response several times otherwise I'd be in jail for assaulting a doctor. We're on year two, going for year two. I'm fighting an uphill battle that is against me, one that thinks this is all in my mind. Believe me, I'm creative with words, not with physical ailments like I've been experiencing. If I were I'd stop them. I'm tired. Worn out. Fatigued.
I know God believes me and sees all things, hears all things, knows all things. I have to believe He will resolve all things according to His will for my life and for those He wants me to touch. I've been told so many times already how my words really help people to feel better and what a special woman I am with a special gift. If this is who I am meant to stay, I will stay. I guess I want to exhaust my resources and make sure I've done all I can do to give God every chance to show me what life will be for a little while or forever.
More courage? Yeah, I need more courage and acceptance.
