Everyday seems to weigh heavy on my shoulders. Waking is happening all hours during the night as I hear myself shout out or wake to my shouting. I have no recollection of what is occurring in my sub-conscious. I know it's processing and releasing deep roots of pain.
Today I had a difficult time not crying. The same shouts continued but this time I used my back rest as a pillow and a side of it as someone holding me for comfort. I think it was Carol. I was scared most of the night. Hiding, protecting, changing sleeping positions, hearing footsteps and other noises. As I write, I zone out.
I'm sober. I went to a meeting. Tomorrow I ask someone to be my sponsor. Tomorrow night I go to my next AA meeting. Saturday night I go to church. I think I have another infection. I'm so tired.
God, please help me physically. Grant wisdom to Dr. Laura. Please provide for my financial need. Please guide Matt's family, release Nancy's illness in your time, help Elizabeth find her Coda meetings, help Tom, Soni and I to work on my financial task without difficulty, provide the right job for Annie and Nancy N., and bring funding to Bright Hope so the gospel message can be carried and Mike/John will be protected from disease and illness in Haiti.
I am weak and worn out.
Your faithful daughter,
Amy
