For the last two months I've been getting this prompting to look into becoming a pastor. I shudder at the thought because it's a big responsibility. I have the spiritual gifts of leadership, encouragement, administration, discernment, shepherding and intercessory prayer. I've been told by several therapists I'd be a great therapist because I have great insight, I'm able to teach tough concepts in a simple form, I have compassion but not mercy and my boundaries are improving in those situations.
I'm learning how to say, "No" or "I've decided" or "I disagree" or "What if we try it this way" instead of becoming internally hurt and resentful. I'm becoming conformed to the image of Christ by daily submitting my hurts, character defects, sin, and letting Him change me into a better human being. I am Christ-becoming.
I wait upon the Lord who speaks clearly. Speak Lord, for your servant is listening. Let me know what steps to take, who to talk to, where to receive guidance and when to do something. Until then, I wait.
This clip is from Dead Poets Society. It shows what many of us can relate to - the pain of trying to please a father and pursue what your heart wants to do. In the end, Neil feels trapped by his father's plans for him and commits suicide.
